MenoShine WOW: Melanie
Welcome to week 5 of MenoShine WOW, celebrating our Woman of the Week.
This week, I want to introduce you to my gorgeous friend Melanie, fondly known as Mel, Melly, or most often, Melly B, a nickname that's stuck since our teenage years. Over the past four weeks, I've introduced you to my best friends in the world, The Posse, a phenomenal group of women I've had the honour of calling best friends for over 35 years.There are six of us in The Posse altogether, and over the past four weeks I've introduced you to four. You've met Janey, our spark with the innate ability to find silver linings,Suzi, the glue who keeps us together, Beccy, the lighthouse and guide, and Katy, the confident, curious cheerleader. This week, I'm thrilled to introduce you to the one and only Melly B.
As I think about what Mel means to me and to the Posse as a group, I'd say she plays two roles. She's our Dancing Queen. And she's also our Wonder Woman. Let me explain.
Our Athlete
Mel is an athlete through and through. I think the first thing I noticed about her when we met at 16 was that quiet air of confidence she carried when it came to sport. A phenomenal netball player, she grew up loving football too (the real kind) and went on to coach a girls' team for several years. Long before girls' football was fashionable, Mel was already fighting for it. As a teenager, she played on her brother's team, two years above her age group, because her own age group didn't want girls on the pitch. In 2018 she qualified as an FA Coach and went on to coach both of her daughters' teams. When they hung up their boots, she wasn't ready to, and played on a women's team well into her forties.
Netball was always her first love though. She played for the county and, in later years, for a premier team in Bournemouth.
That competitive fire is exactly what I think of when I remember the time my two older sons, Deon and Drew, visited the UK and spent a few days with their honorary aunties, The Posse. A day-long pub lunch, and an afternoon at the beach that turned into a wildly competitive game of beach cricket. Mel dove for a ball that seemed completely out of reach and made an incredible catch. It was the first thing Drew told me about when I spoke to him that day.
That same fire is also what resulted in a back surgery. Mel slipped five discs running a race at her eldest daughter's sports day. That's Melly B for you, competitive to her core, even at a sport’s day!
Our Dancing Queen
Not only an athlete, Mel is an incredible dancer. Music runs through her veins and she simply cannot help but move. At 17 or 18, whenever she was the designated driver, she'd rock up with the biggest grin on her face, singing and dancing along to Fresh Prince's Summertime. I can see her now, "chillin’ in the car they spent all day waxin’," word for word, every single time. And on the dance floor, she'd be in heaven, singing away, dancing with an effortless ease, radiating pure joy. When I think of "Dancing Queen," Mel is always the first to come to mind.
That Laugh
To know Mel is to laugh. But it's not what you'd expect. Mel is soft spoken, pretty quiet by nature, and her laugh is similar. You'll see her shoulders start to go first, shaking silently, her whole body caught up in it while barely a sound comes out. And then, just when you think she's got it under control, out comes this high pitched shriek that catches everyone off guard and has the whole room in stitches. She's naturally hilarious without even trying. Very often she'll say something completely inappropriate at exactly the wrong moment, realise what she's said, and then dissolve into that silent, shaking laughter before the shriek gives her away. Some of my favourite "Mel" videos, sent to the Posse WhatsApp over the years, are the ones where she's trying to tell us a story but she can't get the words out, just the shoulders, then the shriek.
Mark, the Girls, and Arlo
Family is everything to Mel. With her lovely husband Mark, their two beautiful daughters Evie and Freya, and adorable pup Arlo, they could genuinely be on the front of a magazine. Not just because they're a beautiful family, but because they carry an aura of happiness that draws you straight in. Much of Mel's free time is spent on peaceful country walks with Arlo, chronicled in our Posse chat as "Adventures with Arlo," weekend trips away with Mark and Arlo, or family time with her brother, his family, and their parents. Throw in a spa day and a good afternoon tea, and our Melly is blissfully happy.
From the PTA to HLTA
Professionally, Mel is a Higher Level Teaching Assistant. Her journey there is (not surprisingly) impressive. Years ago, when her daughters were small, she started on the PTA and as a parent helper in the classroom. Seven years later that led to a role as a lunchtime supervisor, and eighteen months after that she was officially employed as a Teaching Assistant. In 2023 she sat her exam and qualified as an HLTA. Mel is the kind of teacher kids remember forever. You know the one favourite teacher everyone looks back on? Katy who you met last week is one, and Mel is another.
I've had the pleasure of several Posse trips and holidays with Mel, and I love our quiet chats, lingering behind or walking ahead together. She's a wonderful listener, caring and attentive, and she has this lovely way of literally dancing through the streets or posing with a random statue with a cheeky smile and a glint in her eye.
Our Wonder Woman
One of the things I admire most about Mel is her quiet resilience. At 22 she was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that changed everything. For such a dynamic, energetic, fun-loving athlete to suddenly have her world turned upside down by a condition that brought muscle weakness and debilitating fatigue was unfathomable. But Mel refused to let it define her. Over the years I've watched her learn to live alongside the disease without letting it own her story. She didn't give up on sport, in fact she went on to play netball at premier league level, and she still stays active with lower impact movement like swimming, Pilates and yoga. She's learned her body inside out, and given herself permission to rest and recover when she needs to.
She's dealt with some horrible things over the past few years, especially as she's entered her menopausal era (ulcers on your eyeballs, can you imagine?), but she never lets it stop her for long. She's thrown herself into self-care, trusts the advice of her doctors and specialists, and the HRT patch has been an absolute game changer for her. She listens to her body and moves through life with an unspoken strength that fits her archetype perfectly. Wonder Woman.
In Mel's Words
When I was 22, I was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis. It's an autoimmune condition which affects antibodies that normally fight infection, instead attacking the communication between your brain and your muscle movements, resulting in muscle weakness and fatigue. I've always loved sport and been quite determined, so being told at 22 that I'd never do the things I loved again shocked me, but actually spurred me on to prove the medical profession wrong.
I've had peaks and troughs with the condition throughout my life. Notably, coming out of a stressful, coercive relationship and then meeting my now husband, I found I didn't need any medication at all, playing sport to a good level again and living a genuinely happy life. A few years later, trying to fall pregnant with our now 21 year old, I woke with double vision and knew I'd need to take extra care and medicate again. Those early years, with the love of my husband, family and friends, the advice of my medical team, and my own understanding of how to regulate myself, taught me in some way how to recognise entering menopause too.
Don't get me wrong, it took a good 18 months of crying for no reason, not being able to make a decision, feeling constantly anxious, overheating regularly and headaches I'd never really suffered from before. Dry eye, which led to ulcers on my eyeball, means I now wear glasses, and I often get constant dizziness for days alongside the headaches. But still, with the positivity and love shown by friends going through the same ups and downs, talking, sharing and understanding from our beautiful daughters, a patient husband and a loving family, along with patches and a lot of extra beauty products, life is as good as it's ever been. You also can't beat a good woodland walk, appreciating your surroundings and watching your gorgeous fur baby run and play.
Knowing and understanding my condition has shown me, along with advice from others, that all of this is normal. Annoying, yes, but with strategies, patience, and sometimes giving in, which I've learned over the years is necessary, I'll hopefully glide through this stage of life and come out the other end still glowing, just perhaps without the patches.”
My gorgeous Melly B, thank you for being this week's MenoShine WOW. You've been through so much more than most people would ever know, and you just keep going. Quietly, without any fuss, drawing on an inner strength that inspires me more than you know. That's exactly why you're our Wonder Woman. I love you to the moon and back. x
The MenoShine Movement
And with that, I've now introduced you to five of the six women who make up The Posse. Janey, our spark. Suzi, our glue. Beccy, our lighthouse. Katy, our cheerleader. And now Mel, our Wonder Woman. Six best friends, over 35 years, and I feel like the luckiest woman alive to call them mine.
Next week I'm beyond excited to bring you a very special MenoShine WOW as we celebrate my Mum turning 80. After that, I already have a list of incredible women bursting to be featured, so watch this space.
And I want to hear from you too. Send me an email and tell me about a woman in your life who deserves her moment in the spotlight. Nominate a friend who inspires you. Nominate someone who could use a boost and needs to be shown what the people who love her actually see. And absolutely, unashamedly, nominate yourself. There is zero shame in saying "I think I'm a bit of a WOW actually." That kind of self-awareness is exactly the MenoShine spirit.
Every MenoShine WOW will be featured in a book next year called The MenoShine Movement. So go on. Send me that email. I want to meet your WOW.
Sending sass and sparkles from MenoSHINE, because no one should have to PAUSE! x
